Poor dating the Rich

Source: http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/718374-poor-dating-rich-2.html
 
cpg35223 (07-30-2009, 05:52 AM)
You know, there are no hard and fast rules. Only principles.

Most of the old money I know tend to be pretty down-to-earth. We have friends whose grandparents made their wad in real estate, banking, and the whatnot years ago, and enjoy a very nice and comfortable life through prudent investments. They drive cars until the wheels fall off, but they send their children to very nice schools so that they can make their way in life. You'll often see their kids sacking groceries at the Piggly Wiggly to they understand how to function in the world. To them, because they've had money all their lives, it's mostly just a way to help them enjoy their lives, a means to an end. That's about it.

It's the new money that makes a big deal out of having money. They're the ones who buy the Hummers and the 10,000 sf lake house. They often run through it as fast as they make it.

Having dated my share of women who came from money, however, there's a caution. People who have always had money can't readily identify with people who do not. For example, I dated a coal heiress whose father was very wealthy. At first, she didn't understand why I couldn't just leave town every weekend to go to New York or wherever. That's because there were always limitless funds in her trust fund. Trust me, it sounds like fun, but I was always having to remind her of the way most people have to live. For example we had to give a friend of mine a ride to work because his car was broken down (And it was still several days to payday for him). She asked, "Well, why doesn't he just get it fixed?" Mind you, she didn't ask that in a mean spirited way. She just didn't understand the reality of the guy. And while she had a hobby job at the Art Museum, I was pulling extra hours at mine. Over time, she got it and liked that I was a normal, sane person who was not interested in all that.

On the other hand, those with a lot of wealth tend to be wary of those who don't for a simple reason: People are always wanting things from them. Imagine being seen as nothing more than an endless supply of money. So every time a new friend, love interest, or whatever comes into your life, you have to ask the question, "Does this person like me for who I am, or because I have money?" I've heard the tale of woe more than once.

For example, the girl I dated did not reveal anything about her family until our third outing. Yeah, she had a condo and a nice car, but nothing beyond that really screamed wealth. Only once she realized that I was dating her for her long legs and spectacular sense of humor did she feel comfortable telling me about all that. She told me, I said, "Huh," and then went right back to the conversation we were having before. Her parents were really nice, too. Once they realized that I was just a hard-working, ambitious guy who was nice to their daughter, they didn't worry too much.

Ultimately, it didn't work out. She just wasn't right for me in the long-term. I broke things off cordially and a lot of my friends said "Why, man? She's rich." I simply told them I'd earn my money the old-fashioned way, not by marrying it.